A Side of Cranky

I went to bed around 4 a.m. last night....only to be woken up earlier than expected by my mother. She was already multitasking the day, before it had started. She was asking me all sorts of questions about my "plans" (HA what a loose term, especially in my world) for the day. Me, mostly asleep and now irritated, answer "NO NO NO NO NO!! Mom!" and then i whimper like a newborn baby and smother my head in my pillow. Then my mother and my step dad continue for the rest of the morning to shout at each other....oh excuse me, i mean talk....but a million times louder than normal people do. Sleep just isn't in the cards for me today.

Later this morning, i watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As strange as it might sound, it really put me at peace with myself. At first i wasn't sure if i liked it or not...but it really spoke to me. There are so many sad people in this world with a sad history--including myself. But there is hope. We all live for that one moment when we know we aren't a sad story. We will realize how far we've come, and how bright the future is. And hopefully one day we won't have to write imaginary letters in our brains to that imaginary friend that listens...we will be too busy participating. Wow, im really inspired right now. No matter how dark your past is...there is always a future, and its a happy one.

My mom came in my room again, probably to annoy me again, but i quickly grabbed hold of the reigns and we started talking about our feelings. If any of you know us, this is a rare occasion. Mostly because i have a hard time sharing my emotions....just like my dumb father. GREAT. My mom told me that im exactly like him. Its hard for her to handle especially when you mix the divorce crap in there. I always thought that i was just a breed of my own, but now i realize im a mold of my dad. But for complicated reasons im kept from having a great relationship with him like i used to...its a wonderful sticky situation is it not? My mother and i, covered pretty much everything from A-Z. Including boys--which NEVER happens, that was a miracle conversation right there.

Daniel has SUPERB taste in music. I just love it. He sent me the song "Cannibal Queen" last night. I about died. Pretty sure its my new favorite song. He's like a superhero when it comes to music. He knows it too:)

I just decided that today is a great day! Regardless of how it started out. I feel so good!! That movie really got me pumped for life. Strange how that worked out. Im feeling the love today. For myself, for others. Its amazing!

Thats all i have for you...

K bye.

McKenzie