I woke up earlier than normal today. Eight a.m. came as quite a shock. When your body has regularly accustomed itself to it's no-earlier-than-eleven-rule....you would be shocked too. I slept in my clothes again. I didn't even bother to change into my PJ's. I fell back into old habits....by this i mean, staying up late watching my favorite TV shows. Last night, it just so happened to be Elementary. Another Sherlock Holmes rip off that i SO enjoy. And that was followed by a strange calculative dream, which i no longer remember...so don't ask.
Its strange waking up at my Mom's house, especially in my younger sister's old bedroom. Its an office now. Milazzo, (the boy in the basement, AKA: an RM, AKA: my mother's way of replacing my brother until he gets back from his mission in February....) shoved a bed in the corner so i have a bed while i stay here. My mom put my old full-sized sheets on the twin mattress and tucked the excess underneath. These sheets lasted a week before i nearly strangled myself in them and kicked them onto the floor. I now sleep on a bare mattress. Its fine, i just try not to think about germs and whatnot and how old the mattress is....or how many people have slept on it.
I spend most of my days waiting on people to need things from me, and the other part of it getting anxiety whenever someone DOES need something from me. An endless cycle of "calm down" -- "freak out". Thank goodness there is humor in this world, or im pretty sure i would be mentally insane (or just worse off than i already am...).
If it wasn't for my barely functioning (and vibrating) Honda Civic, I wouldn't be able to spend half of my mundane social life in Provo where most of my friends are. My social life is actually very minuscule compared to my "sit-at-home-alone-life". Im not complaining, im just showing the contrast of schedules. Mine is wide open until February, while the majority of my friends are enjoying finals week (including my mother) --i don't envy them. At times i feel like the mother of the household, except i have nothing to do all day. My mom is living my full-time college student life. Isn't that depressing? Try not to be depressed. Try.
My flamboyant step-father, bounces around running the storage unit facility that we call home. He internets his life away, makes himself strange asian foods, microwaves some hot chocolate for me for breakfast, and does the dishes. I have yet to learn of additional, memorable habits. He is a creature of habit. And to any of you who know him....creature is the right word.
Is it silly/sad if the things i look forward to every day... are selecting an outfit to wear and applying my makeup like Promise Phan does on Youtube?
I am not ashamed to admit that my life is in slothful shambles. Im slowly figuring out how to be a human being and use my body for actual movement and activities. My brain is much more active...or this could be interpreted as "mad". Ill take it. But, i like to think of myself as "too creative for action" It drives people crazy. Including myself. I guess i shouldn't lead you to believe i am completely hopeless and eccentric (i am not eccentric....). I am quite normal....ish. I laugh a healthy amount--at myself and others. I receive motivation through inspiration, amusement or bribery. Thats about it.
What a wonderful life:)
This post is dedicated to Karlee. Since she wanted me to start writing again.
Until next time,
McKenzie
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